( whistling )
It's here! lt's here!
Behold, Patrick!
The official Goofy Goober back scratcher!
And it only cost me 52 box tops.
Wow.
Ooh. Mm-hmm.
Oh...
Oh!
Whoo!
Oh, yeah, that's it.
Let me try!
Ahh...
Uh... Patrick,
that's not the back scratcher.
That's my arm.
Oh. Sorry.
You know, we shouldn't keep this all to ourselves.
We should let Squidward try it out.
Yeah! Onward...
...to Squidward's house!
SQUIDWARD: Go away!
To Sandy's house!
Hey, Sandy, you gotta see this.
Sandy?
What's going on here?
Sandy, are you okay?
( shuddering, sputtering )
What's wrong, Sandy?
They're coming! They're coming!
The chimps are coming. Who?
My bosses!
They're coming for an inspection!
I've worked day and night for a week,
but none of my inventions are any good.
lf I don't have a real impressive
invention by this afternoon,
they'll cut my funding,
and I'll have to leave Bikini Bottom.
Oh, come on, Sandy.
I'll bet you invented lots of useful things.
This helmet looks impressive.
What's it do?
It lets you talk to nuts.
What use is that?
SpongeBob to Peanut.
Come in, Peanut.
( shortwave radio beeping )
What's it saying?
It says... "It's dark in here."
Got anything else, Sandy?
There's my nuttachino machine.
It makes a nice, hot, frothy cup of any nut you choose.
( grinding, shrieking )
And lastly, my fully automated nutcracker.
( beeping )
Oh! I can't even make a simple nutcracker.
So, it's got a few bugs.
Patrick and I'll help you fix it.
Right, Patrick?
Patrick?
( ecstatic moaning )
Everything'll be fine.
Oh, it's no use, SpongeBob.
I just have to face facts.
l'll be leaving Bikini Bottom because...
I'm a failure.
We can't let Sandy leave, Patrick.
What'll we do?
They're looking for an invention, right?
Right.
So let's start inventing!
Yeah!
lt's time to get serious, Patrick.
Right!
( crashing )
I made an invention!
It's a stick that you can draw or write stuff with.
That's a pencil, Patrick.
It's already been invented.
( crashing )
Ooh! Ooh! This is a good one.
It's a glass ball that lights up
so you can see in the dark.
Light bulb, already invented.
( grunting ) ( crashing )
SpongeBob. I know this one will work.
I've invented a parallel universe.
That's a mirror, Patrick.
It's already been invented.
( groans )
Somebody keeps stealing my ideas.
( strange accent ): Well, I thought it was a pretty good idea.
( grunts )
Ohh... I give up.
I'll never invent anything.
( acoustic guitar plays )
♪ So long, Bikini Bottom ♪
♪ I can't leave without a good-bye ♪
♪ But please don't think bad of me ♪
♪ If'n I start to cry ♪
♪ So long, Bikini Bottom ♪
♪ There's so many things I'll miss ♪
♪ From your smoggy, crowded city ♪
♪ To your stingin' jellyfish ♪
♪ This town is filled with many things ♪
♪ That I've come to love ♪
♪ From the birds that fly upon the ground ♪
♪ To the flowers up above ♪
♪ Farewell, Bikini Bottom ♪
♪ Now, I really hate to go ♪
♪ 'Cause the things I'll miss the most of all ♪
♪ Are the friends I've come to know. ♪
( both bawling )
l'm ashamed of myself, Patrick.
I gave up too quickly.
We'll build Sandy's bosses an invention so amazing,
they'll give Sandy funding forever.
( electrical zapping )
( small explosion )
( sloshing )
( laughing )
We've done it, Patrick!
We created the greatest invention
the world has ever seen!
Patrick, they're here!
Who? Sandy's bosses.
The reason we spent all afternoon inventing.
l have no idea what you're talking about.
Good day, gentlemen.
Allow me to introduce ourselves.
I am Professor Percy.
This is Dr. Marmalade.
At your service.
And this is Lord Reginald.
Charmed.
You guys talk funny.
Say more words!
We are the board of directors
of Tree Dome Enterprises Limited,
and we are here to ascertain
if Miss Cheek's inventions are up to snuff.
Why, everyone in town has benefited
from Sandy's scientific knowledge.
Before Sandy showed up, I used to be a scrawny weakling.
And I used to be dumb.
( goofy laughter )
Quite.
And whom do I have the pleasure
of addressing?
My name is SpongeBob.
And I am Professor Patrick.
Professor?
Doctor Professor Patrick.
Don't mind him. You know how interns are.
Where is Miss Cheeks?
She should be back any moment.
I thought she ran away
because she couldn't invent anything.
Patrick.
That's Mr. Doctor Professor Patrick to you!
Don't you think it's time to show them Sandy's invention,
Mr. Doctor Professor Patrick?
Good idea.
Well?
Hey, you're the unpaid intern.
You do the work.
Gentlemen, I can say without exaggeration
that this is the most important invention
in the history of the universe.
I give you...
the Automatic Back Scratcher,
Hair Comber, Nose Picker and Ukulele Tuner 9000!
This is where our research money went?
Uh-huh. Isn't it great?
An automatic back-scratcher, hair-combing,
nose-picking ukulele tuner.
Yes, well, I've heard that claim before.
Yes. How do we know this contraption works?
Let's see a demonstration.
Step right up.
You look like you've been neglecting
your personal hygiene.
Me?
Are you sure this is safe?
As sure as I'm a doctor professor.
Patrick, don't you think we should test it?
Okay.
( rumbling )
That's not exactly what I had in mind.
Lord Reginald,
are you all right?
Oh, I say.
This is splendid.
Oh, absolutely splendid.
What's this? Oh, marvelous.
This machine has evacuated my nostrils
of unwanted residue in a manner most pleasant.
Good work, Mr. Doctor Professor Patrick.
Thank you, lowly assistant.
Oh, I say, now it's feeding me delicious pudding.
Pudding, I don't remember that part of the invention.
And now it's tuning my ukulele.
( sour note )
( machine crashing )
Ouch! Ooh!
I say, was that necessary?
You, sir, are impertinent.
Oh, dear.
( agonized shrieks )
Lord Reginald, are you all right?
( shrieks, explosions )
I'm sorry, was that a yes?
Mr. Doctor Professor Patrick, what is the meaning of this?
It's okay.
The horrible screaming
means that it's working.
Oh, I really wish Sandy were here.
All aboard!
Will this bus take you somewhere
when you've got nowhere else to go?
It sure does.
We make stops in Quittersville,
Failuretown and Loserburg.
( screaming )
What in tarnation?
( screaming )
What's with all the monkey business?
( shrieks )
( laughing ) Sandy!
SpongeBob.
What the heck is going on here?
( thumping )
Ouch.
It works! It works!
Lord Reginald, are you all right?
I seem to have ruptured my pomposity.
We shall commence closure of this establishment
immediately.
Frankly, I'm beginning to question
the economic benefits of underwater tree domes.
Doesn't make much sense when you get right down to it.
I'm sorry, Sandy.
We were trying to keep you in Bikini Bottom,
but all we did was ruin your chances to stay.
I was about to be fired anyway.
Thanks for trying to help, SpongeBob.
You, too, Patrick.
That's Mr. Doctor Professor Patrick.
Don't push it.
Sorry.
We are departing, Dr. Marmalade.
My word. All of this excitement
has drastically reduced my potassium levels.
Good gracious.
Can it be?
Try it again.
Oh! It is!
It is!
It's the banana peeler
we have been searching 117 years for.
( excited chattering )
Wow, Sandy, they're going bananas for your nutcracker.
Yeah.
PERCY: Well, Miss Cheeks,
I must say,
you have exceeded expectations.
lt may be the extreme head trauma I've suffered,
but I am going to offer you a 20-year contract
with a substantial pay rise.
I accept.
BOTH: Hooray!
l expect great things out of you, Miss Cheeks.
Great things.
Perhaps you could put your talents
toward that automatic poop-throwing machine
that's eluded us for so long.
Now, now. One miracle at a time.
ALL: Good-bye.
Well, the only thing left is to figure out what to do
with this infernal contraption.
My turn!
Whoo-hoo!
( screaming )
All right!